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Been eatin’ Toaster Strudels.
You know … with the icing? All hot and gooey …
I know I’m late to the Toaster Strudel bandwagon, but now I’m motherfuckin’ ON.
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You know, I consider Billy Dee Williams a friend, a good friend …
But he ain’t no Lando.
Guess who is?
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Someone once said to me, “a hurricane ain’t nothing but God throwin’ shoes.”
I guess that means that even God wears shoes.
Makes you think …
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So I was smacking Jason Patric in the mouth.
It wasn’t for the cameras.
Sometimes you just gotta smack Jason Patric in the mouth.
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People ask if I’ll appear at Dragon Con this year.
Well, let me ask this: You gonna serve cold cuts again, Dragon Con?
Cause I ain’t leavin’ Malibu for cold cuts.
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Tyler Perry bet a doughnut I wouldn’t compare him to Steven Spielberg.
Never put a doughnut at stake.
Pay up, bitch.
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People think my hard-ass performance in An Officer and a Gentleman was an act.
Truth is Richard Gere required a foot in the ass between takes.
Still get residuals for that shit.
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Wanna impress the ladies?
Chin-ups, motherfucker, chin-ups.
Get back to me when you can lift my dick.
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Producers offered the moon for Iron Eagle V.
I said, “Hell no.”
Sometimes you walk the fuck away.
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