7th September 2011

Photo with 1 note

Been eatin’ Toaster Strudels.
You know … with the icing? All hot and gooey …
I know I’m late to the Toaster Strudel bandwagon, but now I’m motherfuckin’ ON.

Been eatin’ Toaster Strudels.

You know … with the icing? All hot and gooey …

I know I’m late to the Toaster Strudel bandwagon, but now I’m motherfuckin’ ON.

30th August 2011

Photo with 18 notes

You know, I consider Billy Dee Williams a friend, a good friend …
But he ain’t no Lando.
Guess who is?

You know, I consider Billy Dee Williams a friend, a good friend …

But he ain’t no Lando.

Guess who is?

Tagged: landomiscast

28th August 2011

Photo with 1 note

Someone once said to me, “a hurricane ain’t nothing but God throwin’ shoes.”
I guess that means that even God wears shoes.
Makes you think …

Someone once said to me, “a hurricane ain’t nothing but God throwin’ shoes.”

I guess that means that even God wears shoes.

Makes you think …

Tagged: godshoes

26th August 2011

Photo with 2 notes

So I was smacking Jason Patric in the mouth.
It wasn’t for the cameras.
Sometimes you just gotta smack Jason Patric in the mouth.

So I was smacking Jason Patric in the mouth.

It wasn’t for the cameras.

Sometimes you just gotta smack Jason Patric in the mouth.

Tagged: disciplinejason patric

24th August 2011

Photo with 4 notes

People ask if I’ll appear at Dragon Con this year.
Well, let me ask this: You gonna serve cold cuts again, Dragon Con?
Cause I ain’t leavin’ Malibu for cold cuts.

People ask if I’ll appear at Dragon Con this year.

Well, let me ask this: You gonna serve cold cuts again, Dragon Con?

Cause I ain’t leavin’ Malibu for cold cuts.

Tagged: cold cutsintegrityDragon Con

5th May 2010

Video with 1 note

Tyler Perry bet a doughnut I wouldn’t compare him to Steven Spielberg.

Never put a doughnut at stake.

Pay up, bitch.

Tagged: Tyler Perrybreakin' shit downdoughnut

28th April 2010

Photo with 12 notes

People think my hard-ass performance in An Officer and a Gentleman was an act.
Truth is Richard Gere required a foot in the ass between takes.
Still get residuals for that shit.

People think my hard-ass performance in An Officer and a Gentleman was an act.

Truth is Richard Gere required a foot in the ass between takes.

Still get residuals for that shit.

Tagged: an officer and a gentlemanthat bitch richard gereresiduals

22nd April 2010

Photo with 1 note

Wanna impress the ladies?
Chin-ups, motherfucker, chin-ups.
Get back to me when you can lift my dick.

Wanna impress the ladies?

Chin-ups, motherfucker, chin-ups.

Get back to me when you can lift my dick.

Tagged: chin-upshow to score

14th April 2010

Photo with 3 notes

Got egg salad on my slacks.  
Egg salad …
I mean, damn.

Got egg salad on my slacks.  

Egg salad …

I mean, damn.

Tagged: egg salad

13th April 2010

Photo with 5 notes

Producers offered the moon for Iron Eagle V.
I said, “Hell no.”
Sometimes you walk the fuck away.

Producers offered the moon for Iron Eagle V.

I said, “Hell no.”

Sometimes you walk the fuck away.

Tagged: Iron Eagle Vturnin' down green